Sex and Porn Compulsivity
Sexual Compulsivity generally referred to as Sexual Addiction, is the term used to describe any sexual activity that feels 'out of control'. That might be sex with a partner, viewing pornography, masturbation, visiting sex workers, or any number of other sexual activities. Although many of these activities don't cause a problem for most people, a person experiencing sexual compulsivity feels compelled to engage in their chosen activity, in spite of the problems it may cause in their personal/family/work relationships.
Sex can become addictive in a similar way to alcohol and other drugs. During sex, our bodies release a powerful cocktail of chemicals that make us feel good and some people keep seeking the high these chemicals produce. Like substance addictions, the body gets used to these chemicals and the sufferer soon finds that they need more and more sex in order to achieve the same buzz. As with chemical addiction, in between the highs of sexual fulfilment are the lows. Most people feel an immense amount of shame about their behaviour. They also feel regret, remorse, anxiety and isolation, most feel powerless to change.
Unfortunately these powerful feelings often cause the sufferer to seek out sex as a way to escape. Sex becomes a pain reliever, an escape from the very problem that it has created itself.
Porn Compulsivity
Access to porn nowadays is much easier due to the widespread use of the internet and what can start off as a harmless stress or sexual release can for some lead to compulsive usage where you have little control over your use of internet pornography. You might initially plan to go on the internet for a short period of time but then find yourself on a pornography website and before you know it hours end up passing.
You may even have escalated from viewing porn to escaping into your virtual world enrolling on dating sites, meeting people online for cybersex, arranging one night stands with strangers or starting serial affairs.
Excessive use of sexual porn/fantasy can change how you feel about partner sex as it can even cause lack of desire and erectile dysfunction. If your use of the internet is having a negative impact on your life and starting to have priority over other interests, for example, friends, family and romantic relationships you may need support.
Sex/Porn Compulsivity – Do I Have an Problem?
Please answer the following questions 'Yes’ or ‘No':
1) Your sexual behaviour has a negative impact on other areas of your life such as relationships, work, finances, health, professional status?
2) Your sexual behaviour contradicts your personal values and potentially limits life goals?
3) You’ve repeatedly tried to limit your sexual behaviour or stop it all together, but failed?
4) You’re more tempted to engage in sexual behaviour when experiencing difficult feelings such as stress, anxiety, anger, depression or sadness?
5) You’re secretive about your sexual behaviours and fearful of being discovered?
6) You feel dependent on your sexual behaviour and struggle to feel fulfilled with any other alternatives?
7) You’ve noticed you need more stimuli or risk in order to achieve the same level of arousal and excitement?
8) You struggling concentrating on other areas of your life due to thoughts/feelings about your sexual behaviour?
9) You’ve thought there may be more you could do with your life if you weren’t so driven by your sexual behaviours?
10) You feel as if your sexual behaviour is out of your control?
If you answered ‘Yes’ to 5 or more of the above questions, you may benefit from making an appointment for a full assessment to explore a way forward.
How I can help you?
I provide both individual therapy and group treatment programs to help people with sex and porn compulsivity to stop their unwanted behaviours. Therapy can be especially beneficial for exploring the deeper unconscious processes that often cause and fuel the behaviour and helping you to develop a full understanding of the everyday events and feelings that can trigger behaviours as well as helping you to develop long term relapse prevention strategies. As a professional Sex Compulsivity Therapist I can help you to explore your concerns about your sexual behaviour, understand where it began for you and whether it was due to difficulties in making and maintaining relationships with others, a traumatic experience, or if it was an opportunity that then became a habit. The recovery work will help you to find other ways of making yourself feel better about yourself without harmful consequences and finding the road back to a healthy sexual lifestyle.
Support for Partners
I also offer support for partners as most partners are devastated to discover their partner has issues with sex and/or pornography and many find it difficult to believe it’s even true. Others may have been battling for years to discover the truth and may feel relieved when the truth is finally out. Partners need their own space to recover from the shock of discovery and someone who understands the problem who can help them decide what their future will hold.
I hold the ATSAC Professional Certificate in Treating Sexual Compulsivity and have undertaken The Hall Recovery Course Training. I offer a compassionate, ethical practice and due to the sensitive nature of this work, all clients can be assured of total discretion and absolute confidentiality, as with all other areas of my practice.
Useful Websites:
http://sexaddictionhelp.co.uk/
http://saa-recovery.org.uk/
http://www.slaauk.org/
Sex can become addictive in a similar way to alcohol and other drugs. During sex, our bodies release a powerful cocktail of chemicals that make us feel good and some people keep seeking the high these chemicals produce. Like substance addictions, the body gets used to these chemicals and the sufferer soon finds that they need more and more sex in order to achieve the same buzz. As with chemical addiction, in between the highs of sexual fulfilment are the lows. Most people feel an immense amount of shame about their behaviour. They also feel regret, remorse, anxiety and isolation, most feel powerless to change.
Unfortunately these powerful feelings often cause the sufferer to seek out sex as a way to escape. Sex becomes a pain reliever, an escape from the very problem that it has created itself.
Porn Compulsivity
Access to porn nowadays is much easier due to the widespread use of the internet and what can start off as a harmless stress or sexual release can for some lead to compulsive usage where you have little control over your use of internet pornography. You might initially plan to go on the internet for a short period of time but then find yourself on a pornography website and before you know it hours end up passing.
You may even have escalated from viewing porn to escaping into your virtual world enrolling on dating sites, meeting people online for cybersex, arranging one night stands with strangers or starting serial affairs.
Excessive use of sexual porn/fantasy can change how you feel about partner sex as it can even cause lack of desire and erectile dysfunction. If your use of the internet is having a negative impact on your life and starting to have priority over other interests, for example, friends, family and romantic relationships you may need support.
Sex/Porn Compulsivity – Do I Have an Problem?
Please answer the following questions 'Yes’ or ‘No':
1) Your sexual behaviour has a negative impact on other areas of your life such as relationships, work, finances, health, professional status?
2) Your sexual behaviour contradicts your personal values and potentially limits life goals?
3) You’ve repeatedly tried to limit your sexual behaviour or stop it all together, but failed?
4) You’re more tempted to engage in sexual behaviour when experiencing difficult feelings such as stress, anxiety, anger, depression or sadness?
5) You’re secretive about your sexual behaviours and fearful of being discovered?
6) You feel dependent on your sexual behaviour and struggle to feel fulfilled with any other alternatives?
7) You’ve noticed you need more stimuli or risk in order to achieve the same level of arousal and excitement?
8) You struggling concentrating on other areas of your life due to thoughts/feelings about your sexual behaviour?
9) You’ve thought there may be more you could do with your life if you weren’t so driven by your sexual behaviours?
10) You feel as if your sexual behaviour is out of your control?
If you answered ‘Yes’ to 5 or more of the above questions, you may benefit from making an appointment for a full assessment to explore a way forward.
How I can help you?
I provide both individual therapy and group treatment programs to help people with sex and porn compulsivity to stop their unwanted behaviours. Therapy can be especially beneficial for exploring the deeper unconscious processes that often cause and fuel the behaviour and helping you to develop a full understanding of the everyday events and feelings that can trigger behaviours as well as helping you to develop long term relapse prevention strategies. As a professional Sex Compulsivity Therapist I can help you to explore your concerns about your sexual behaviour, understand where it began for you and whether it was due to difficulties in making and maintaining relationships with others, a traumatic experience, or if it was an opportunity that then became a habit. The recovery work will help you to find other ways of making yourself feel better about yourself without harmful consequences and finding the road back to a healthy sexual lifestyle.
Support for Partners
I also offer support for partners as most partners are devastated to discover their partner has issues with sex and/or pornography and many find it difficult to believe it’s even true. Others may have been battling for years to discover the truth and may feel relieved when the truth is finally out. Partners need their own space to recover from the shock of discovery and someone who understands the problem who can help them decide what their future will hold.
I hold the ATSAC Professional Certificate in Treating Sexual Compulsivity and have undertaken The Hall Recovery Course Training. I offer a compassionate, ethical practice and due to the sensitive nature of this work, all clients can be assured of total discretion and absolute confidentiality, as with all other areas of my practice.
Useful Websites:
http://sexaddictionhelp.co.uk/
http://saa-recovery.org.uk/
http://www.slaauk.org/